Inducements and Irritations

Induction is a pain in the backside that every doctor must go through. It involves one or more days of being lectured about fire safety, computer systems, ethics, rotas and all sorts beyond. Roughly 5% of this information is useful and would have been more so if it were just printed out and given to you. The remainder is dross with no useful function whatsoever. To compound the issue, induction usually takes place is a specially-heated, undersized cupboard with people packed in beyond the legal limit for livestock. The sessions themselves are usually delivered by people whose limited public speaking abilities normally prevent them from addressing large groups but, for one reason or another, are the only staff available to present on the day.

Today was a prime example, and I was shoved into a boiling room for 5 hours while people talked about things of minimal relevance. The things that were relevant were incomprehensible, because we’ve not started our jobs. To top it off, we were then let loose on the wards for the afternoon, nonwithstanding that we have no ID or computer logins and as such no ability to be useful on the wards whatsoever. Typically for the efficient induction, the aforementioned ID and login are only granted in tomorrows session. Excellent.

anxiety-boredom-a

On the plus side, I found this chart which almost perfectly summarises medical jobs – one starts in the top left and progresses throughout the job until you are just about to get into the contentment zone. Then you change job. Again.

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