I’ve always held true to the tenets of my faith…except I don’t really have one, so I guess that doesn’t work. Despite that, Lent has always had a special…nope, that’s not true either. The fact is that I have never in my life given up anything for Lent (except one year, when I heroically sacrificed money laundering for forty long days) and that attitude has served me well. These days, though, what with this year of my course being so insufferably dull and without purpose, I feel that perhaps I need to drive a little difficulty into my life one way or another and giving up a vice seems like a good way to do that.
So, chocolate, you may be a traditional victim of the post-pancake-day-food-fail but you have drawn the short straw. It’s not just chance that has struck you down either, I’m afraid. I have been putting on weight this year largely thanks to your widespread availability and cheaposity (and lunch doesn’t come cheaper than a £1 galaxy-sized galaxy bar when you’re in the Hospital Markup Zone) and frankly, I’ve had enough. I need to be slim and fit to be happy and while I am very loosely the latter, I am beginning to lose my grip on the former. That, and the universal threat of diabetes – I’m not expecting to get it anytime soon but if I carry on as I am I’d say it’s inevitable, and along a shorter timeframe than my demise too. When you’re in a profession such as mine, you get easily paranoid about disease and by god, I am not about to fall prey to diabetes.* As such, health and glory shall follow for the next month and a third, and then come Easter I shall hopefully be so used to it the cravings for the delicious darkness will have long ago faded into obscurity.
Bye bye chocolate.
Hello apples, bananas, and all of your tasty friends.
Bye bye money. Fruit isn’t quite so cheap, sadly.
*my goodness, a headache? Man, brain tumours can present with a headache…if you catch them early, you have a better change of survival. GET ME A CT SCANNER!